true love calculator

how many percents do you love each other

#girl #anime #kissing

New jokes

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"