shoot the apple on the head of man
#action #shooting #scary
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."