clean and correct the teeth
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.