find out how is your life
#scary #anime
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.