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New jokes

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."