Join the numbers and get to the 2048 tile!
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.