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New jokes

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.