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New jokes

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."