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New jokes

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!