Hearts

After looking at his or her hand, each player chooses three cards and passes them face down to another player. All players must pass their own cards before looking at the cards received from an opponent. The passing rotation is: 1. to the player on your left, 2 to the player on your right, 3 to the player across the table, 4. no passing. This rotation repeats until the game ends.The player holding the 2 of clubs (after the passing) plays that card to start the first trick. Each player must follow suit if possible. If a player has no cards in the suit led, a card of any other suit may be discarded. Exception: If a player has no clubs when the first trick is led, a heart or the Queen of Spades cannot be played.The highest card of the suit led wins a trick (there is no trumps in this game). The winner of the trick gets all the cards and starts the next trick. Hearts may not be led until a heart or the Queen of Spades has been played (this is called 'breaking' hearts). The Queen of Spades can be led at any time. At the end of each hand, the number of hearts a player has taken, is counted; they count for 1 point each. The Queen of Spades is 13 points. If a player has won all 13 hearts and the Queen of Spades, that player can choose to subtract 26 points from his score, or to add 26 points to every other player's score.Hearts is played to 100 points, when a player reaches this score, the game ends. The player with the lowest score wins.

#board #skill #solitaire

New jokes

Elderly couple
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.