Hearts

After looking at his or her hand, each player chooses three cards and passes them face down to another player. All players must pass their own cards before looking at the cards received from an opponent. The passing rotation is: 1. to the player on your left, 2 to the player on your right, 3 to the player across the table, 4. no passing. This rotation repeats until the game ends.The player holding the 2 of clubs (after the passing) plays that card to start the first trick. Each player must follow suit if possible. If a player has no cards in the suit led, a card of any other suit may be discarded. Exception: If a player has no clubs when the first trick is led, a heart or the Queen of Spades cannot be played.The highest card of the suit led wins a trick (there is no trumps in this game). The winner of the trick gets all the cards and starts the next trick. Hearts may not be led until a heart or the Queen of Spades has been played (this is called 'breaking' hearts). The Queen of Spades can be led at any time. At the end of each hand, the number of hearts a player has taken, is counted; they count for 1 point each. The Queen of Spades is 13 points. If a player has won all 13 hearts and the Queen of Spades, that player can choose to subtract 26 points from his score, or to add 26 points to every other player's score.Hearts is played to 100 points, when a player reaches this score, the game ends. The player with the lowest score wins.

#board #skill #solitaire

New jokes

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Weight loss
There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.