#action #racing #sports #boy #car #driving
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.