How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.