Mickey mouse flying
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."