Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."