SAD LEONARDO DICAPRIO

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Sad Leonardo Dicaprio

#man #frustrated #crying #depressed #sad #actor #people #emotion #celebrities

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"