Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."