Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison