A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.