How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.