DOG IS READING BOOK

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Dog is reading book

#animal #look #looking #bored #boring #dog #annoyed #reading #animals #activities #emotion #feature

New jokes

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!