Cool story bro
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."