Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.