Impatient woman
#bored #boring #woman #annoyed #blonde #stupid #emotion #feature #people
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"