Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.