Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.