Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."