HI

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New jokes

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.