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New jokes

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!