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Hi

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New jokes

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"