Cat with dog
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.