Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.