Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.