YAAAASS

Yaaaass

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New jokes

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.