Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"