Cat is looking around
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"