Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.