BORED CAT

Bored cat lying

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New jokes

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99