BYE

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Bye

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New jokes

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.