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Hi

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New jokes

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"