Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.