#cat #cute #cats #animal #sweet #cute cat #kitty cat #kittens #paw #paws #raise paw #sleep #sleeping #yawn #yawning #lie #lying #bored #boring #tired #exhausted #annoyed #animals #feature #activities #emotion
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.