SEAL IN SNOW

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Seal in snow

#cute #animal #sweet #white #jump #snow #winter #seal #cold #ice #feature #animals #color #sports #winter

New jokes

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.