YAY

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Yay

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New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"