Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"