Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."