Cute christmas dog
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."