A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.