Mad santa jumped to shit
#animal #funny #christmas #angry #santa claus #winter #mad #reindeer #animals #feature #winter #emotion
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!