Angry lion screaming
#animal #eat #eating #angry #lion #mad #scream #upset #red #animals #food #emotion #activities #color
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.