Lion with christmas tree
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.