Mouse is playing music
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."