Mousa click
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Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.