BORED CAT

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Bored cat

#cat #cats #animal #cute cat #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #bored #boring #tired #exhausted #annoyed #hypnotized #animals #activities #emotion #feature

New jokes

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.