Cat is eating pancakes
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.